Sunday, December 26, 2010

Year in Review

As I sit here on this cold snowy night, trying to think of something to do other than waste hours away in front of the television, I remind myself that it has been nine months since I’ve written a blog. Nine months! Where does the time go?! My lack of blogging has been nagging at me for a few months now, a constant reminder that I let it fall to the waste side, due to…well, work and laziness. The last time I wrote, I was ferociously seeking employment and blogging became an outlet to challenge my mind, broaden my horizons and well, escape the daily mundane of job hunting. I had all intentions of keeping it up even after I got a job but…well, life sometimes gets in the way and hobbies take a back seat. So it’s been nine months of blissful employment. Ok, well it’s not blissful but it’s employment none the less. It’s freedom, empowerment, security just to name a few. Gosh, I never realized how important a career was until I didn’t have it anymore. I never realized how reliant I was, not only on the money but on the self fulfillment that came along with having my own money, paying my own bills and feeling independently secure. I mean, everyone knows you need a means to make money, but when your entire career that you’ve nurtured and developed over the years and built up to what you wanted it to be, is taken away from you and no amount of interviewing or pleading is bringing it back anytime quick, you really begin to question your self-worth. But at last, the tide did change for me and I did FINALLY after way too much time and five too many interviews, secure a great job, no…a great career. Now, as with all corporate jobs, here’s to hoping it’s permanent…at least for as long as I’d like it to be...until I decide my next career goal.

So, now with that out of the way…what to write, what to write? Given that my creative juices aren’t entirely flowing…mainly because I’m forcing myself to pick back up blogging and stop making excuses, I’m thinking a “Year in Review” isn’t a bad idea since it’s nearing a new year. 2010 has been quite a crazy year. The economy is still in the gutter. Did they say in 2009 it would be better in 2010? They lied. Whoever they are. Unemployment is still at an all time high, businesses are still going under, we are still fighting a war, gas prices are still high, the real estate market still dropping...and the President is still promising change. On a more positive note, in my own personal life, I’ve gotten a great job and made new friends in my colleagues whom I adore and whom make going to work so much more enjoyable, I’ve welcomed a gorgeous new nephew and god-child into my life whose smile and laugh makes even a dismal day bright, I’ve reached a professional financial goal that can now come off of my vision board...well maybe it won’t come off but be “modified”, and I’ve also reached a personal goal of becoming a landlord…a daunting goal that almost held me back from accomplishing, but finally became a reality that I am very happy about and hopeful for my next steps.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Over 30 Crowd

I just received this in a forwarded email and thought it was just too funny not to post here for others to enjoy. If you are 30 or older you will find this hysterical! It’s funny because it’s true!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways… yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!

Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd

Friday, March 12, 2010

Nullum Desiderium

I came across an article recently that I really enjoyed. The article mentioned some quick tips about the importance of taking care of yourself and your happiness and the little things you can do for yourself. Unfortunately I can’t reference the article here because I can’t seem to remember where I read it but I’m going to take a stab at paraphrasing it to get the point across...

1. It’s not selfish, it’s self-preservation.


One tip the article gave was the importance on taking care of you, before taking caring of others. It’s wonderful to be giving but at a certain point you can give too much of yourself, and then it’s just depleting and you’re no good to anyone. Learn to say no to the next person who asks you to do them a favor if you’re already running yourself thin. Learn to ask others around you to share responsibilities. You’ll have more opportunities to pursue your own interests and nurture facets of your personality that make you happier, and then you’ll be more of a giver when you have the energy again. Taking care of your inner self is as important as taking care of your outer self. Know your limits, and be happy to be healthy.

2. Now is the moment! Enjoy it!

Oh my goodness…this part actually made me laugh when I read the article because the author said she was reflecting back on her childhood and her mother sitting in a park watching her and her siblings play. The author remembered those memories fondly and realized when it came to her own children, she was often rushing them to and fro the park. She feared that later in life, instead of fond memories, her children might remember their mother always saying “hurry up” as she rushed to get them to the park.

This hits home for me because my mom has made this same reflection when thinking of mine and my sister’s childhood. My sister and I both needed numerous trips to the orthodontist in our younger days and on the route to the ortho, there was this very fun looking, colorful park that we would pass coming and going. My mom said (although I don’t remember this) that my sister and I always wanted to stop at the park to play, but my mom was always in a hurry to get home to start dinner. This actual conversation came up at some point over the last few years and my mom reflected back and said she doesn’t understand why she was always so concerned with rushing home to start dinner and she wished she would have stopped at the park for us to play.

So the moral here is, “This is it. Now is the moment. Enjoy it! Connect. This could be another perfect moment, if you let it be.”

3. Find your space

Everyone needs some moments alone each day to recharge. Time is the one gift you can give yourself each day to be happier and it doesn’t cost a thing or require you to go anywhere.

Think of a place where you can let your mind escape and your worries go, even for just a short period of time. Your place, or as Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore says “your happy place” should make you feel peaceful and relaxed. A coffeehouse, bookstore, park, favorite room in your house, your garden etc. are all good places. Once you figure out where your space is that makes you feel relaxed, make more time for it in your life. After this mini-break, you can pretty much guarantee you’ll feel better and be more grateful when you get back to the hustle and bustle of your busy life.

4. Conflict can be OK!

When a friend/family member/coworker is mad at you or you at them, the hardest thing sometimes is to talk about it. But once you do, you always feel better. Chances are, the thing you disagree over is minor, and you have more in common than not, but you need to discuss the situation to find out where you agree and where you don’t.

Figure out how to find your common ground with one another and learn from each other, celebrate your differences and laugh about them, too. You can still be close with someone but disagree in various areas. Conflict is healthy. In fact it’s part of life.

5. Remember your friends!

Connecting, especially with friends, is important to your happiness long-term, studies show. Sometimes, time just flies and before I know it, it’s been months since I’ve seen my friends. Keeping those close friendships is important and maintaining it takes work or else the friendship dissolves. There’s nothing like some great girl bonding and catching up with some of my “besties”. A great friend is like a therapist that you never have to pay, a religion that never judges you and a cozy home with a door that is always open. A good friend is there for you when you need them and even when you don’t know you need them. They are your support system, your cheerleader and your defender and they can be all these alongside you and sometimes for you, when you can’t be for yourself.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Meditation


Meditation is a holistic discipline by which the practitioner attempts to get beyond the reflexive, "thinking" mind into a deeper state of relaxation or awareness. Meditation is a component of many religions, and has been practiced since antiquity. It is also practiced outside religious traditions. Different meditative disciplines encompass a wide range of spiritual or psychophysical practices that may emphasize different goals—from achievement of a higher state of consciousness, to greater focus, creativity or self-awareness, or simply a more relaxed and peaceful frame of mind. ~Wikipedia

A few months ago I finished a book about a woman’s journey to self discovery. The book was called Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (www.elizabethgilbert.com/eatpraylove.htm). Made popular by Oprah Winfrey, Elizabeth chronicles her travels through Indonesia, India and Italy to help her gain a better understanding of her personal identity and spirituality. I thought the book was excellent, but that’s not what this blog is about. It would be a recommended reading by me though.

While in India, Elizabeth Gilbert practiced meditation and in her book, talked about the higher state of consciousness, self awareness and focus she gained from it. I became intrigued with learning more about this and decided to do some of my own research to see if meditation was something I wanted to incorporate into my life. Although I don’t consider myself a religious person, I am always on a spiritual journey and love to incorporate different aspects of various religions into my life.

I became fascinated with learning the different facets of the art of meditation, particularly because of the spirituality of the whole thing, but also because of the enormous discipline it invokes. In addition, I have always strongly believed in the significance of the mind-body connection and the ability of the mind to heal the body. I also recently saw Dr. Deepak Chopra, an international authority on mind-body healing, talking about the healing power of this ancient tradition. He was quoted as saying “happiness causes the release of opiates, serotonin and oxytocin in the brain. “You feel happy because these chemicals are antidepressants. They actually increase your self-esteem and your confidence”. So, as someone who already naturally incorporated positive thinking, affirmations and mind-body healing techniques into my life, I thought meditation seemed like a likely adventure.

I did a lot of online research and learned there are tons of meditation techniques that have been practiced for hundreds of years by various cultures. I found the Mantra Meditation practiced in Buddhism most appealing. Mantra Meditation is simply repeating a sentence or group of words that have a phonetic significance for a certain period of time. The word mantra is said to come from a root meaning “that which protects the mind”. In Buddhist meditation, many things can be used as objects of concentration — as “mind protectors.” There are breath “mind protectors”, walking “mind protectors”, visual “mind protectors” etc. In mantras, the “mind protectors” are sounds, words or phrases that are used as an object of concentration. The sounds may be chanted out loud, or may be heard internally.

For me, Mantra Meditation was most intriguing because there are so many Mantras to choose from, all with various meanings. There are healing mantras, attitude mantras, career mantras etc., depending on your specific focus. I guess because I have a creative side that comes out through various forms of writing, I have always associated well with words. I usually have some variation of a famous quote to associate with most situations in my life as well as have a few fundamental mottos that have served me well along the years. I’m usually known for buying items with quotes and sayings and displaying them throughout my home. So, maybe because of my attraction to words and their meanings, I gravitated more towards Mantra Meditation.

I took this directly from the meditation website I listed below. I thought this was pretty impactful. “Mantra is intrinsically related to sound. Mantra is sound, and sound is reverberating in everything in this universe. When water flows, the gurgling sound it makes is mantra. When wind blows through the trees, the rustling sound it produces is mantra. When we walk on the earth, our footsteps produce sound, and that too is mantra. Within human beings there is a self-born, indestructible sound which repeats itself constantly; along with our breathing and this sound is also a mantra.”

“When letters and syllables come together, they form words. Both our spiritual and our mundane life are possible only because of words; without language, we cannot carry out any of our activities. Each word we use has its own power and produces it own reaction. A mantra is no ordinary combination of letters and syllables, but a living force.”


The mantra that I chose to practice first was Om Gum Ganapatayei Swaha (ohm goom gana-pa-tie-ay swa-ha). If you’re going to do a mantra, it helps to search for it on youtube to hear a recording of how it sounds. Om Gum Ganapatayei Swaha roughly translates to “remove obstacles that are standing in the way of your progress”. This is also said as Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha (ohm goom gana-pa-tie-ay na-ma-ha) if you are less than 28 years of age. I’m not sure why this is, however if you are over 28 years old, the mantra ending changes to Swaha. I chose this mantra, first, because I read it was one of the recommended mantras if you are new to meditating but also because I thought it worked well with my focus at the time. The focus of my mantra meditation at that time was finding a job. I felt that there were many obstacles standing in the way of finding a job such as the state of the economy etc. I was basically asking that the state of the economy not be an obstacle in my quest to find a job. In addition to doing the mantra, I also chose to incorporate some visualization into my meditation. This is where you let your mind focus on specific objects/events/ideas as though they are already real, already a part of your life. In a sense, you are bringing these things to life in your mind so that they can come to life in reality. So for me, the visualization of myself in a particular job, getting ready for work in the morning etc was a part of my meditation. I also focused on the elated feeling I would have if those things were true and the inner peace and happiness I would feel and I brought those feelings into my deep meditated state of mind.

I chose to practice my mantra for 40 days. There are various lengths of time that one can practice a mantra but for me, the 40 day commitment, which is also what is recommended, seemed good. I’ve read that some people chant a certain amount of repetitions each day (108 is typically suggested), some for a specific amount of time, others use something along the lines of a strand of beads to keep track, some just chant whenever they remember throughout their day. For me, I chose to do mine each night before going to bed without a particular length of time commitment. I simply allowed my mind to be free of all thoughts (which is NOT easy) in a quiet room and focused solely on this chant, sometimes out loud but mostly in my head.

First, the idea of lying in a quiet room, completely still, clearing my mind of all thoughts and distractions, is in and of itself difficult. To add on top of that, the repetition of a group of words that don’t come easily, as least not to me, made it even more challenging. I found myself drifting off to thoughts about earlier in the day or future upcoming events, people etc and kept having to be cognizant of “pulling myself" back into the mantra. I remember the first few nights, not being sure if I was catching on correctly but I knew I couldn’t possibly be the first person to feel this way so I figured it would eventually come together and it did. In the beginning I was able to concentrate for about 15 minutes and when I would open my eyes and look at the clock, I couldn’t believe only 15 minutes had passed! I had previously read that some people meditate for an hour or more and I couldn’t get past 15 minutes without getting restless! My first thought was…this is going to be a looooong 40 days…what did I get myself into?! But I read that this restless struggle is normal and means that you are beginning to affect the inner 'something' for which you undertook the mantra. You are beginning to encounter inner resistance. That inner resistance manifests as outer obstacles to your discipline.

As days went on, I got the hang of mantra meditation and by the end of my 40 days was meditating up to 45 minutes. I found the practice very relaxing and enjoyable. The 40 minutes flew by, often astonishing me because it felt more like 15 minutes now. Once I got the hang of saying Om Gum Ganapatayei Swaha, it flowed naturally in my head without any hesitation and started sounding much like a song of sorts. In the beginning, having the mantra to repeat helped keep my concentration focused and my mind centered but as the weeks went on, I no longer needed help with focusing because it came naturally. The meditation put me in a very deep state that almost can’t be described. I won’t say I had any sort of “Godly” experience, which many experienced meditators speak of achieving or at least strive to achieve, but I do feel the experience itself gives a spiritual feeling of complete mind-body connection to the soul. For whatever length of time that I was able to meditate each night, and the length of time varied from night to night, my mind and body were free of all external distractions, emotions, feelings etc. After whatever amount of time passed, my eyes would simply pop open and I would come out of that “trance-like” state feeling totally refreshed, centered and emptied of any negativity that may have been with me earlier that day. For that one reason alone, I think meditation is a great thing for people to practice. Going to bed feeling “cleansed” from the day’s events is truly a great way to fall asleep.

I read that many people who practice Mantra Meditation speak of miraculous things resulting from their meditation. Usually something of “a very surprising nature” happens on day 33, 35 or day 40 of a 40 day mantra. I marked these days on my calendar to see if anything happened on these particular days but it didn’t. In fact, I can’t say that my specific “wish” came true by the 40th day however I did notice the following changes occurring during the 40 days of meditation: by week 2 of the meditation I had 3 interviews with 3 different companies (unheard of throughout my year plus career dry spell) but I also started getting an influx of calls for prospective job leads throughout the weeks of doing the mantra. It may not have been at the exact end of the 40 day mantra, however an additional 18 days later, I was offered a job and within 2 days I started that job. So my “mantra wish” was a few weeks overdue but eventually came true. After more than a year of being on the job hunt, the job was a welcoming surprise and loooong overdue. So…should I chalk it up to coincidence? The results for all my strenuous hours and dedication applying to jobs? Or is it the actual affects of the mantra? Hmmmm…I guess everyone will have their own opinion. Regardless of what the real answer is and I guess there really is no way to know, I’m just glad to have a job now! But I also got a lot of self gratification from completing the mantra, feel that I learned something new and became a little more “enlightened” if you will. Stay tuned because I’m sure I’ll practice another mantra at some point in the near future!

If you’re interested in learning about the different forms of meditation, there is a wealth of information available just by simply doing an internet search. Here is a website I found that gives the fundamentals of meditation and the Who, What, Where, How and Why of it all: http://www.meditationiseasy.com/.

I also came across the following website which has some really inspirational quotes related to meditation: http://www.ascensiongateway.com/quotes/subject/meditation/index.htm


The following video is Dr. Deepak Chopra, who I mentioned in this blog, discussing meditation techniques:


Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day!




In the spirit of Valentine’s Day and just getting home from seeing a new romantic comedy, I thought I’d list some of my favorite classic romantic movies.




Pretty Woman

Hands down, this one is and always will be my favorite movie. Who doesn’t want the fairytale ending of the rich handsome man climbing up a ladder to profess his love? The prostitute part aside, it’s a romantic movie with a happy ending.

Ghost

This movie gets me every time! I’m usually good up to the end but it is all downhill once Patrick Swayze says “It's amazing, Molly. The love inside, you take it with you. See ya.” Ugh! Every time I watch it! This is such a great storyline and made even more precious now that dear Mr. Swayze has passed on.

The Notebook

This is such an epic love story of forbidden romance and true love. It’s one of those innocent movies that is simply about two people and their undying love for one another. I read a great quote from an interview that Nicholas Sparks, the author of the The Notebook said, “Above all, love is defined by what you do as opposed to what you say. Because in every life, there’ll be happiness and sorrow, joy and pain. And often it’s the support that is expressed through action that is most meaningful in both the highs and lows of life.” This is so true. 

Titanic

For a movie that was over three hours long and had a predicted ending, this sure held my attention the first time I saw it! Whenever this is on television, I still watch it and it still holds my attention! “I’ll never let go Jack. I’ll never let go”.  Leonardo DiCaprio was one of my favorite actors then and he still is now.

When a Man Loves a Woman

Oh how I never get tired of this movie and looking at Andy Garcia! Meg Ryan plays a great role as an alcoholic and Andy Garcia is sexy as ever as a patient, loving husband trying to help his wife.  There are so many lines in this movie that I love but I have a soft spot especially for this one: “My wife is an alcoholic. Best person I ever met. She has 600 different smiles. They can light up your life. They can make you laugh out loud, just like that. They can even make you cry, just like that. That's just with her smiles. You'd have to see her with her kids. You'd have to see how they look at her, when she's not looking. To think of all the things she lives through, and I couldn't help her.”

Sleepless in Seattle

Meeting at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine’s Day for the first time…well that has to be the grandest of romantic gestures I think. How can you not love Tom Hanks, the grieve stricken widow and his adorable son Jonah?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Living without money


An inspiring story I read in The Times that I thought I would share. Being that I consider shopping a hobby (joking...well not really lol), I couldn’t live this lifestyle but I think it’s a very interesting story.

By Stefanie Marsh

Twenty-two years ago Heidemarie Schwermer, a middle-aged secondary school teacher just emerging from a difficult marriage, moved with her two children from the village of Lueneburg to the city of Dortmund, in the Ruhr area of Germany, whose homeless population, she immediately noticed, was above average and striking in its intransigent hopelessness.

Her immediate reaction was shock. “This isn’t right, this can’t go on,” she said to herself. After careful reflection she set up what in Germany is called a Tauschring — a sort of swap shop — a place where people can exchange their skills or possessions for other skills and possessions, a money-free zone where a haircut could be rendered in return for car maintenance; a still-functioning but never-used toaster be exchanged for a couple of second-hand cardigans. She called it Gib und Nimm, Give and Take.

It was always Schwermer’s belief that the homeless didn’t need money to re-enter society: instead they should be able to empower themselves by making themselves useful, despite debts, destitution or joblessness. “I’ve always believed that even if you have nothing, you are worth a lot. Everyone has a place in this world.”

But the homeless of Dortmund seemed not to take to Schwermer’s plan, few ever turned up to the Tauschring. Some, they told her angrily to her face, felt that a middle-class woman with some education would never be able to relate to the circumstances of the dispossessed. Instead it was mainly the unemployed and the retired who began, in snowballing numbers, to flock to the Tauschring, their arms full of things that had been lying around their homes unused for years, or skills that they possessed but no longer exercised: retired hairdressers volunteered to cut the hair of out-of-work electricians, who would wire their kitchens in return; retired English teachers gave language lessons in return for the services of a dog-walker. The point was, not a single pfennig changed hands.

The Tauschring grew exponentially, was written up glowingly in a couple of local papers and turned into something of a Dortmund phenomenon. Its success also prompted Schwermer to ask serious questions of herself and her way of life. “I began to realise that I lived with so many things I didn’t need. So I decided that I wouldn’t buy anything without giving something away. That’s how it started. Then I began to really think about what I needed, clothes for example, and noticed that I could easily get by with what I could hang on ten coathangers. Everything else I gave away. I had so much stuff in the house that was superfluous. Getting rid of it was a relief.”

After a while even her vast collection of books began to assume an excessive presence in her home and one day Schwermer marched to a second-hand shop with her entire library. “The woman in the shop was upset. But I felt that giving them away was a good thing. I love books but I knew I had to get rid of them. I didn’t miss them, which surprised me. I just wanted to pare things down to their essentials.”

What had, in part, led Schwermer to her conclusions about “stuff” was a year of psychotherapy after the breakdown of her marriage in the mid-1980s. It was a difficult year, she remembers: “I was in floods of tears nearly every session, but at the end of it I felt so happy and decided that I wanted to live more simply. I also wanted to pass on what I learnt in therapy to other people, and that’s when I began to train as a psychotherapist.”

Other things changed. She took up meditation and began to realise how dissatisfied she was in her job. “I was always ill with flu or had backache and never realised the connection between my physical symptoms and my unhappiness at work.”

In the wake of setting up her Tauschring, she began to experiment with other sorts of jobs on the side. “I was working in a kitchen for ten deutschmarks an hour and people were saying to me, ‘You went to university, you studied to do this?’ But I thought, well, every person has an intrinsic value, why should I be valued more for being a teacher or a therapist than for working in a kitchen?”

The more ascetically she lived, the happier she became. By 1995 she was deeply involved in the Tauschring, house-sitting for short periods in exchange for cleaning or light maintenance work. She was buying virtually nothing: “When I needed something, I found that it would just come into my life. My glasses, for example. There was an optician who was a member of the Tauschring and he gave them to me in return for some therapy sessions.”

It was in 1996 she realised that “I had to go farther” and took what would be the most radical decision of her life: to live without money. She gave up her apartment and teaching job and resolved to live nomadically, an “extreme lifestyle”, she admits, moving from house to house, in return for menial work. Her new way of life was intended as a short-lived thing: she had given herself 12 months. But she found herself enjoying it so much that it never really ended.

Thirteen years on, she continues to live according to the principles of Gib und Nimm. “Life became much more exciting. More beautiful. I had everything I needed and I knew I couldn’t go back to my old life. I didn’t have to do what I didn’t like, I had a more profound sense of joy, and physically I feel better than ever. Living without money was just the first step. I realised that I wanted to change the world and I wasn’t going to do that by looking after someone’s cat while they were on holiday.”

She still lives — a week at a time — in the spare rooms of members of the Tauschring, cleaning or working in return for accommodation. Only very occasionally has she had personality clashes with her hosts and she tries to resolve any tension within herself “by going for a walk”. She has emergency savings of €200 (£180) and any other money that comes to her she gives away. “I decided it was OK to collect my pension but I give most of it away, except for what I need to pay for train tickets.”

She has no health insurance because she didn’t want to be accused of scrounging off the state. Instead she relies on what she calls the “power of self-healing. When something hurts, I put my hand on it and say to myself I have the power to heal myself and the pain goes away.” What if she becomes really ill? “Cancer? Then I suppose I’ll die. I’ve already prepared myself for death several times — times when I thought, ‘This is it, it’s over’. But then I got up the next day and everything was fine.”

Her entire material world is now contained in a single black suitcase and a rucksack. No photographs because, she says, “I don’t need them”.

In the flesh Schwermer is charming and engaging as well as lively and youthful-looking with strong jutting teeth and eyesight that she says she has halfway managed to correct herself with exercises she has picked from the people she meets. She is well dressed, neat and tidy and, it may come as a surprise given her lifestyle, 67 years old. Her two children — now a music teacher and a therapist — support what their mother does although the family don’t spend Christmas together. Though single, she has relationships every now and again, but is adamant that any love affair will always come second to what she calls her ideological work with Gib und Nimm. “I can imagine having a serious relationship with someone who is spiritual and who believes in what I’m doing, but not one where I live in a nice big house. I can fall in love but I can’t imagine living with someone. ”

Given her constant roaming about the country, it is almost impossible pinning her down. We met in the Greenpeace offices in Münster, near Cologne, where she was to address a group of young people who had been inspired by her work to live without money for week (Schwermer spends much of her time giving lectures about her lifestyle). Accompanying her was an Italian/ Norwegian film crew and we watched as successive teenagers stumbled in and out of the office, having been given the task of bartering for food with the offer of work. “We already live in a barter economy.

We go to work to get money. I want to go farther.”

What is farther and how far is far enough? Ideally, Schwermer would like to lead by example and give other people courage to change their attitudes towards money and how they live in and contribute to society. The pressure to buy and to own, she feels, has intensified in recent years. Consumerism is essentially about “an attempt to fill an empty space inside. And that emptiness, and the fear of loss, is manipulated by the media or big companies.” There is a fear, she says, that in not buying or owning an individual will fall out of society. The irony, she claims, is that material goods can never plug a spiritual hole and shopping and hoarding are more likely to isolate people than bring contentment. Does she intend to start a revolution?

“No, I think of myself as planting the seed,” she says. “Perhaps people come away from my lectures or seeing me being interviewed and decide to spend a little less. Others might start meditating. The point is that my living without money is to allow for the possibility of another kind of society. I want people to ask themselves, ‘What do I need? How do I really want to live?’ Every person needs to ask themselves who they really are and where they belong. That means getting to grips with oneself.”

Does she really think that she can convert other people to her life philosophy? “Yes, that’s our future. One day we will all live without money, because we don’t need it and because it is only a burden. We’re the way we are because it’s how the system allows us to be. We can buy everything we want but we need so much less than we realise. If you think that the capitalist system we live in now is the only system, well that’s just ridiculous.”

Though she no longer owns any of her own, she has written two books on her adventures (and has given away her royalties). The first, My Life without Money, turned her first into a minor hero in Germany in some quarters, the kind who, last week for example, was invited on to a late-night TV forum to discuss whether Money Can Make You Happy. Surrounded by dot-com millionaires and lottery winners, she spoke while the other guests peered at her, visibly disconcerted to meet a woman who had given up everything and who claimed to be happy. “I live completely normally, only without money,” she said. “There are people who do so in Siberia. And in Africa there are many people who survive only because they all help each other.”

Schwermer knows from experience that not everyone will take her seriously. When she began with her project, “I was attacked frequently by people telling me that I wasn’t living without money at all, that I was just being provocative or scrounging, which made me cry! But then I realised it isn’t just about giving and expecting something back, or about giving and allowing oneself to be taken advantage of, or becoming a victim. It is about the possibility of having another life, of letting go of the stuff around us and examining our deepest fears.”

She tells me about an episode three years ago when she became convinced that she was going to starve to death: “But I really asked myself what that was about and realised it was about my childhood, and it had no bearing on reality.” (Schwermer is the child of refugees who lost everything after the war). Her only real terror now is appearing in the media. “I hate being on TV because it makes me so nervous but I know I reach a lot of people that way.” The people she does get through to, judging by the demographics of the lecture halls she visits, tend to be women. Why? “Because women are more open to new ideas.”

Is Schwermer a lunatic? Certainly she has been called “naive” and “idealistic” by the author of an article in the right-wing Die Welt newspaper, who asked her whether she was pursuing a communist-lite agenda when communism has been proved to be a failure. “It’s true that communism didn’t work,” she says, “but human beings need to learn to be a little bit different before we can learn to share what we have. We are going to run out of oil in ten years. We don’t have infinite resources. That just isn’t sustainable.”

Is her own itinerant lifestyle sustainable? She thinks so. She feels young but, in the event of death, she has organised her own funeral. She’s “paid” for it by striking a deal with an enlightened clergyman, who agreed that she would cover the costs of the burial by offering counseling sessions for the bereaved. Such deals are a regular feature of her new existence: only the managers of the German rail network seem to be immune to her formidable powers of persuasion, hence the few euros she still needs at her disposable to travel long distances.

Schwermer often talks enthusiastically about “the new world” she is in the process of discovering. She is esoteric but not mad or prone to ranting. Most people find her to be engaging and likeable: there are now many members of her Tauschring. What about those who live without money but not through choice? What about the poor and the homeless? Has she ever converted a homeless person to her way of thinking?

“I haven’t managed to reach the homeless,” she says. “I did hold lectures for the homeless but only six or seven showed up. They didn’t want to hear it. One of the men there accused me of having ‘connections’, that I’d only been able to do what I have been able to do because I knew people. I do have contacts, that’s what this new world is all about, forging links and contacts. Otherwise it wouldn’t work.”

She never managed to convince her interlocutor and not long after their conversation he had resumed his place
outside on the pavement begging for spare change.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Good Bye 2009...Hello 2010!



As the clock strikes midnight tonight, many people all over the world will be cheering and celebrating a new year. For many, a new year symbolizes more than just a change in calendar digits. The New Year symbolizes the possibility for a better tomorrow. Many people are inspired to create New Year’s Resolutions such as being a better person, losing weight, finding a better job, or spending more time with family just to name a few. I think everyone, regardless who you are, can always find something they can improve to make them a more well rounded individual. So if you’re thinking you want to have a New Year’s Resolution but aren’t quite sure what you want it to be, here’s some suggestions I thought of…

Volunteer
Speaking for myself, I’ve felt great internal satisfaction each time that I’ve volunteered. It feels really good to give back to the community and help others if you have the ability to do so. I have volunteered at food banks packing up boxes of food, I’ve also collected clothes for Dress for Success who provide work clothes and career development to disadvantaged women and I’ve organized and/or participated in multiple disease related fund raising events. I have to say that all of these activities have given me more fulfillment than a day’s pay. So if you are looking for a small way to make a big impact in your life, as well as someone else’s, I say volunteer. This is one place you will always be needed and they will always be happy to see you.

Make a personal date
Do something just for yourself, by yourself once a week. Something as simple as a candle lit bubble bath, a good book and warm blanket, an old classic movie, a long walk...just take some relaxing time out for you.

Take a risk
And I don’t mean something little like eating chocolate when you’re on a diet. I mean a big risk that scares you and might even make you think you can’t do it…then…you DO IT! Something like, apply for a promotion, change careers, join an activity group etc. So think of one thing that has always held you back because of fear, and then overcome it. There’s a saying I love “The only things in life you regret are the risks you didn’t take”. So, TAKE IT!

Create a Bucket List
A bucket list is a list of all the things you want to accomplish or see in your life before you…well…kick the bucket. I have an ongoing list that I keep on my computer and honestly, over the years it has come in handy. Sometimes if I’m looking for something to do, I refer to my list. I have things as little as parks I’d like to go hiking in, to places I want to travel to sky diving. So create your list and then get to doing them and check them off one by one!

Challenge yourself…
I firmly believe if you aren’t continuing to challenge yourself, then you aren’t growing as a person. I read somewhere once that challenging yourself develops a healthy self esteem. So think of something you’ve always wanted to tackle and then take it on! It could be anything from a home improvement project to learning another language or a book that’s a tough read (I have one of these right now that I am trying to get myself to tackle. It’s called House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Leaves). I feel I challenge myself every time I write for my blog. Of course, the world won't end if you do not challenge yourself, but the building blocks of success can be found in tackling hard projects.

Get a hobby
I believe many people lose their hobbies as they get older. I think sometimes life just gets in the way and your hobby takes a back seat. But having a hobby is a great way to meet new people and do something you really enjoy. It can be anything from joining a sports league like softball or bowling to knitting or scrap booking, taking yoga or picking up that instrument you used to play when you were in high school. Like they say, in order to be interesting, have some interests.

Create a vision board
If you’ve ever read the book or watched the DVD The Secret by Rhonda Byrne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_(book)) then you know what I’m talking about. The Secret is all about The Law of Attraction which says that our thoughts, both conscious and unconscious can basically attract the things that you want. It suggests having a vision board where you display all the things you wish for your life and have it in an area that is visible to you every day as a constant reminder of what you desire. So think about the things you want for your life and then display them on a vision board and see if The Law of Attraction can work for you.

Read a self improvement book
There’s so many out there that I have found beneficial. I mentioned my favorite book in a previous blog, The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav but there are so many amazing, well written ones out there. Self improvement books are a great way to experience personal growth. If you’ve never read one, you’d be surprised how much you can take away from reading a book of this type and incorporate it into your life and your personal development. Some books can be a tough read for some people so if you decide to try this, maybe it could also be the challenging thing you do for yourself.

Practice compassion
The world can use more compassionate people. I try to be compassionate of others and try to treat others how I want to be treated. I love the quote by Gandhi “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” If everyone practiced compassion, the world would be a much better place. The next time you’re out, think of this and see where you can incorporate it into your own life. It can even be something small like saying hello to a stranger, holding the door for someone or lending a helping hand to someone in need.

Tackle your weakness
Think about what your weakness is and then improve it. Are you a terrible speller or awful at math, do you curse too much, do you not have a large enough vocabulary? Whatever your weakness is, figure out how you can work on it and then challenge yourself to overcome it.

Set goals
They could be long term or short term, big or small but everyone should have goals. So define your goals in life and continually evaluate your current situation to make sure you are still going in the right direction to reach your goals.

Well, as 2009 comes to a close, so does this blog. I hope that you find something valuable listed here that you could use to enrich your own life. I wish everyone a HAPPY and HEALTHY New Year filled with lots of LOVE, LAUGHTER and HAPPINESS. 


As Benjamin Franklin said “Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.”