The Over 30 Crowd

I just received this in a forwarded email and thought it was just too funny not to post here for others to enjoy. If you are 30 or older you will find this hysterical! It’s funny because it’s true!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways… yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!

Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd

Nullum Desiderium

I came across an article recently that I really enjoyed. The article mentioned some quick tips about the importance of taking care of yourself and your happiness and the little things you can do for yourself. Unfortunately I can’t reference the article here because I can’t seem to remember where I read it but I’m going to take a stab at paraphrasing it to get the point across...

1. It’s not selfish, it’s self-preservation.

One tip the article gave was the importance on taking care of you, before taking caring of others. It’s wonderful to be giving but at a certain point you can give too much of yourself, and then it’s just depleting and you’re no good to anyone. Learn to say no to the next person who asks you to do them a favor if you’re already running yourself thin. Learn to ask others around you to share responsibilities. You’ll have more opportunities to pursue your own interests and nurture facets of your personality that make you happier, and then you’ll be more of a giver when you have the energy again. Taking care of your inner self is as important as taking care of your outer self. Know your limits, and be happy to be healthy.

2. Now is the moment! Enjoy it!

Oh my goodness…this part actually made me laugh when I read the article because the author said she was reflecting back on her childhood and her mother sitting in a park watching her and her siblings play. The author remembered those memories fondly and realized when it came to her own children, she was often rushing them to and fro the park. She feared that later in life, instead of fond memories, her children might remember their mother always saying “hurry up” as she rushed to get them to the park.

This hits home for me because my mom has made this same reflection when thinking of mine and my sister’s childhood. My sister and I both needed numerous trips to the orthodontist in our younger days and on the route to the ortho, there was this very fun looking, colorful park that we would pass coming and going. My mom said (although I don’t remember this) that my sister and I always wanted to stop at the park to play, but my mom was always in a hurry to get home to start dinner. This actual conversation came up at some point over the last few years and my mom reflected back and said she doesn’t understand why she was always so concerned with rushing home to start dinner and she wished she would have stopped at the park for us to play.

So the moral here is, “This is it. Now is the moment. Enjoy it! Connect. This could be another perfect moment, if you let it be.”

3. Find your space

Everyone needs some moments alone each day to recharge. Time is the one gift you can give yourself each day to be happier and it doesn’t cost a thing or require you to go anywhere.

Think of a place where you can let your mind escape and your worries go, even for just a short period of time. Your place, or as Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore says “your happy place” should make you feel peaceful and relaxed. A coffeehouse, bookstore, park, favorite room in your house, your garden etc. are all good places. Once you figure out where your space is that makes you feel relaxed, make more time for it in your life. After this mini-break, you can pretty much guarantee you’ll feel better and be more grateful when you get back to the hustle and bustle of your busy life.

4. Conflict can be OK!

When a friend/family member/coworker is mad at you or you at them, the hardest thing sometimes is to talk about it. But once you do, you always feel better. Chances are, the thing you disagree over is minor, and you have more in common than not, but you need to discuss the situation to find out where you agree and where you don’t.

Figure out how to find your common ground with one another and learn from each other, celebrate your differences and laugh about them, too. You can still be close with someone but disagree in various areas. Conflict is healthy. In fact it’s part of life.

5. Remember your friends!

Connecting, especially with friends, is important to your happiness long-term, studies show. Sometimes, time just flies and before I know it, it’s been months since I’ve seen my friends. Keeping those close friendships is important and maintaining it takes work or else the friendship dissolves. There’s nothing like some great girl bonding and catching up with some of my “besties”. A great friend is like a therapist that you never have to pay, a religion that never judges you and a cozy home with a door that is always open. A good friend is there for you when you need them and even when you don’t know you need them. They are your support system, your cheerleader and your defender and they can be all these alongside you and sometimes for you, when you can’t be for yourself.

Meditation

Meditation is a holistic discipline by which the practitioner attempts to get beyond the reflexive, "thinking" mind into a deeper state of relaxation or awareness. Meditation is a component of many religions, and has been practiced since antiquity. It is also practiced outside religious traditions. Different meditative disciplines encompass a wide range of spiritual or psychophysical practices that may emphasize different goals—from achievement of a higher state of consciousness, to greater focus, creativity or self-awareness, or simply a more relaxed and peaceful frame of mind. ~Wikipedia

A few months ago I finished a book about a woman’s journey to self discovery. The book was called Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (www.elizabethgilbert.com/eatpraylove.htm). Made popular by Oprah Winfrey, Elizabeth chronicles her travels through Indonesia, India and Italy to help her gain a better understanding of her personal identity and spirituality. I thought the book was excellent, but that’s not what this blog is about. It would be a recommended reading by me though.

While in India, Elizabeth Gilbert practiced meditation and in her book, talked about the higher state of consciousness, self awareness and focus she gained from it. I became intrigued with learning more about this and decided to do some of my own research to see if meditation was something I wanted to incorporate into my life. Although I don’t consider myself a religious person, I am always on a spiritual journey and love to incorporate different aspects of various religions into my life.

I became fascinated with learning the different facets of the art of meditation, particularly because of the spirituality of the whole thing, but also because of the enormous discipline it invokes. In addition, I have always strongly believed in the significance of the mind-body connection and the ability of the mind to heal the body. I also recently saw Dr. Deepak Chopra, an international authority on mind-body healing, talking about the healing power of this ancient tradition. He was quoted as saying “happiness causes the release of opiates, serotonin and oxytocin in the brain. “You feel happy because these chemicals are antidepressants. They actually increase your self-esteem and your confidence”. So, as someone who already naturally incorporated positive thinking, affirmations and mind-body healing techniques into my life, I thought meditation seemed like a likely adventure.

I did a lot of online research and learned there are tons of meditation techniques that have been practiced for hundreds of years by various cultures. I found the Mantra Meditation practiced in Buddhism most appealing. Mantra Meditation is simply repeating a sentence or group of words that have a phonetic significance for a certain period of time. The word mantra is said to come from a root meaning “that which protects the mind”. In Buddhist meditation, many things can be used as objects of concentration — as “mind protectors.” There are breath “mind protectors”, walking “mind protectors”, visual “mind protectors” etc. In mantras, the “mind protectors” are sounds, words or phrases that are used as an object of concentration. The sounds may be chanted out loud, or may be heard internally.

For me, Mantra Meditation was most intriguing because there are so many Mantras to choose from, all with various meanings. There are healing mantras, attitude mantras, career mantras etc., depending on your specific focus. I guess because I have a creative side that comes out through various forms of writing, I have always associated well with words. I usually have some variation of a famous quote to associate with most situations in my life as well as have a few fundamental mottos that have served me well along the years. I’m usually known for buying items with quotes and sayings and displaying them throughout my home. So, maybe because of my attraction to words and their meanings, I gravitated more towards Mantra Meditation.

I took this directly from the meditation website I listed below. I thought this was pretty impactful. “Mantra is intrinsically related to sound. Mantra is sound, and sound is reverberating in everything in this universe. When water flows, the gurgling sound it makes is mantra. When wind blows through the trees, the rustling sound it produces is mantra. When we walk on the earth, our footsteps produce sound, and that too is mantra. Within human beings there is a self-born, indestructible sound which repeats itself constantly; along with our breathing and this sound is also a mantra.”

“When letters and syllables come together, they form words. Both our spiritual and our mundane life are possible only because of words; without language, we cannot carry out any of our activities. Each word we use has its own power and produces it own reaction. A mantra is no ordinary combination of letters and syllables, but a living force.”

The mantra that I chose to practice first was Om Gum Ganapatayei Swaha (ohm goom gana-pa-tie-ay swa-ha). If you’re going to do a mantra, it helps to search for it on youtube to hear a recording of how it sounds. Om Gum Ganapatayei Swaha roughly translates to “remove obstacles that are standing in the way of your progress”. This is also said as Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha (ohm goom gana-pa-tie-ay na-ma-ha) if you are less than 28 years of age. I’m not sure why this is, however if you are over 28 years old, the mantra ending changes to Swaha. I chose this mantra, first, because I read it was one of the recommended mantras if you are new to meditating but also because I thought it worked well with my focus at the time. The focus of my mantra meditation at that time was finding a job. I felt that there were many obstacles standing in the way of finding a job such as the state of the economy etc. I was basically asking that the state of the economy not be an obstacle in my quest to find a job. In addition to doing the mantra, I also chose to incorporate some visualization into my meditation. This is where you let your mind focus on specific objects/events/ideas as though they are already real, already a part of your life. In a sense, you are bringing these things to life in your mind so that they can come to life in reality. So for me, the visualization of myself in a particular job, getting ready for work in the morning etc was a part of my meditation. I also focused on the elated feeling I would have if those things were true and the inner peace and happiness I would feel and I brought those feelings into my deep meditated state of mind.

I chose to practice my mantra for 40 days. There are various lengths of time that one can practice a mantra but for me, the 40 day commitment, which is also what is recommended, seemed good. I’ve read that some people chant a certain amount of repetitions each day (108 is typically suggested), some for a specific amount of time, others use something along the lines of a strand of beads to keep track, some just chant whenever they remember throughout their day. For me, I chose to do mine each night before going to bed without a particular length of time commitment. I simply allowed my mind to be free of all thoughts (which is NOT easy) in a quiet room and focused solely on this chant, sometimes out loud but mostly in my head.

First, the idea of lying in a quiet room, completely still, clearing my mind of all thoughts and distractions, is in and of itself difficult. To add on top of that, the repetition of a group of words that don’t come easily, as least not to me, made it even more challenging. I found myself drifting off to thoughts about earlier in the day or future upcoming events, people etc and kept having to be cognizant of “pulling myself" back into the mantra. I remember the first few nights, not being sure if I was catching on correctly but I knew I couldn’t possibly be the first person to feel this way so I figured it would eventually come together and it did. In the beginning I was able to concentrate for about 15 minutes and when I would open my eyes and look at the clock, I couldn’t believe only 15 minutes had passed! I had previously read that some people meditate for an hour or more and I couldn’t get past 15 minutes without getting restless! My first thought was…this is going to be a looooong 40 days…what did I get myself into?! But I read that this restless struggle is normal and means that you are beginning to affect the inner 'something' for which you undertook the mantra. You are beginning to encounter inner resistance. That inner resistance manifests as outer obstacles to your discipline.

As days went on, I got the hang of mantra meditation and by the end of my 40 days was meditating up to 45 minutes. I found the practice very relaxing and enjoyable. The 40 minutes flew by, often astonishing me because it felt more like 15 minutes now. Once I got the hang of saying Om Gum Ganapatayei Swaha, it flowed naturally in my head without any hesitation and started sounding much like a song of sorts. In the beginning, having the mantra to repeat helped keep my concentration focused and my mind centered but as the weeks went on, I no longer needed help with focusing because it came naturally. The meditation put me in a very deep state that almost can’t be described. I won’t say I had any sort of “Godly” experience, which many experienced meditators speak of achieving or at least strive to achieve, but I do feel the experience itself gives a spiritual feeling of complete mind-body connection to the soul. For whatever length of time that I was able to meditate each night, and the length of time varied from night to night, my mind and body were free of all external distractions, emotions, feelings etc. After whatever amount of time passed, my eyes would simply pop open and I would come out of that “trance-like” state feeling totally refreshed, centered and emptied of any negativity that may have been with me earlier that day. For that one reason alone, I think meditation is a great thing for people to practice. Going to bed feeling “cleansed” from the day’s events is truly a great way to fall asleep.

I read that many people who practice Mantra Meditation speak of miraculous things resulting from their meditation. Usually something of “a very surprising nature” happens on day 33, 35 or day 40 of a 40 day mantra. I marked these days on my calendar to see if anything happened on these particular days but it didn’t. In fact, I can’t say that my specific “wish” came true by the 40th day however I did notice the following changes occurring during the 40 days of meditation: by week 2 of the meditation I had 3 interviews with 3 different companies (unheard of throughout my year plus career dry spell) but I also started getting an influx of calls for prospective job leads throughout the weeks of doing the mantra. It may not have been at the exact end of the 40 day mantra, however an additional 18 days later, I was offered a job and within 2 days I started that job. So my “mantra wish” was a few weeks overdue but eventually came true. After more than a year of being on the job hunt, the job was a welcoming surprise and loooong overdue. So…should I chalk it up to coincidence? The results for all my strenuous hours and dedication applying to jobs? Or is it the actual affects of the mantra? Hmmmm…I guess everyone will have their own opinion. Regardless of what the real answer is and I guess there really is no way to know, I’m just glad to have a job now! But I also got a lot of self gratification from completing the mantra, feel that I learned something new and became a little more “enlightened” if you will. Stay tuned because I’m sure I’ll practice another mantra at some point in the near future!

If you’re interested in learning about the different forms of meditation, there is a wealth of information available just by simply doing an internet search. Here is a website I found that gives the fundamentals of meditation and the Who, What, Where, How and Why of it all: http://www.meditationiseasy.com/.

I also came across the following website which has some really inspirational quotes related to meditation: http://www.ascensiongateway.com/quotes/subject/meditation/index.htm

The following video is Dr. Deepak Chopra, who I mentioned in this blog, discussing meditation techniques: